 The day the call was made there was this unsettling wave of calm and relief that washed over me. Then the guilt because others were suffering and I was relieved. (insert the negative self talk “WTF is wrong with me? How can I be happy about a pandemic?”) I was relieved because I had let my life gain too much momentum and I finally had permission to slow down. Then the panic rolled in. What do I do about memberships, rent, bills, loans…my amazing team? I had just finished training Robyn in her mentorship program, Jenny is supposed to open her new physio clinic, Jaimie was just about to launch her Olympic Lifting program, Shayne was coming on board, Gina was going to start her mom’s group, Rhiannon was killing it and what about Chelsea and Amber they help me do all the behind the scenes important things? There was so much unfolding and now there’s nothing! What if Jon can’t work? How do we survive? We just invested our savings and that plummeted too… There were so many things to think about, then came the gut wrenching realization that LMF is not essential. I had created a business that I thought could make a difference in this world. Then the negative self talk took over, “What a Joke?! Pfft, you’re not important” were the words I went to bed with.
The next day came and it was time to put the big girl panties on. Make some calls, some quick decisions and move on. I already knew Chelsea was amazing but she stepped up and launched the first zoom live workout to LMF, and crushed it! The next day the cancellation emails started to roll in. I knew why. I completely understood and had opened that door. It was still hard. My chest felt like it had an elephant sitting on it, what if everyone cancels? And then the next email I opened was from a client who had just renewed her personal training package and she donated it to LMF to help us through, then others started to message that they could afford their membership and to keep it at full price (I was even threatened by one that if I didn’t comply it was “friends off”), I had a few others that offered to pay for other people’s memberships, the ones that were doing everything they could to still keep LMF in their life and who really needed a gift in that moment to keep them going. The messages attached to these generous offerings helped me change the dialog in my head back to “I do have a purpose and LMF is damn important.” My heart burst. The mood had shifted, we were not going to be a victim of circumstance. LMF’s purpose isn’t to change the world it’s to help people change their own world’s. So, how do we do this now? How can we create normal in this chaos? How can we remain essential to those who know what we have to offer? What can we do to be better going forward? The last question that came up was a question I haven’t asked myself in a really long time, what do I want? I knew what I didn’t want. To never go back to how I felt pre COVID, but it was going to take some deep thinking and time (more than my usual 5 minutes) to figure this one out! The wins, the losses, the lesson and the gains are one in the same, post COVID here’s what I’ve learned…
We are forever learners, out of the box thinkers, supporters, dreamers and doers. We are Misfits!
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